There seems to be a generally held opinion that being a Federal Congressman or Senator is a very difficult job. The truth of the matter is that the most difficult part of the job is learning all of the perks that go with the position. Fortunately there is an unofficial mentoring process that takes place that makes sure the new arrival becomes aware of all of the hidden benefits of the job and does not run around yelling "Hot puppies!" every time they finds out about a new one, it upsets the constituents and bothers the people who are thinking up new ones.
The job is very simple; all the new Congressman or Senator really has to do to get started is three things:
- Find their parking space. Now that sounds easy but is actually very important. The new office holder has to go to their office but first has to find someplace to park their car so they can carry in all the necessary office artifacts, the "I love me" gallery of pictures with them in the company of important people, movie stars, other politicians, sports figures, etc., and their desk plate with their name and position on it in case they forget. So, they get parked and then...
- They have to find their office. We can't have this newly arrived very important person wandering around the hallways, arms loaded down with important stuff, knocking on doors and disturbing senior Congressmen and Senators who are trying to take a nap by asking if this is their office. So, they are parked and they have a desk and a chair and now it is time for the third and most important thing...
- They have to start their re-election campaign.
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