And In This Corner...

The State of Washington, like many different states today, has found itself in a very difficult financial position. The members of the govern ring party of this state all claim that they had nothing to do with an out of control budget, it seems to fall into the category of “the dog ate my homework”. Governor Chris Gregoire has promised to bring the current budget into line with a series of taxes that give new meaning to the word usury.

One of her budget cuts was to increase tuition cost up to seven percent at the state universities. After that increase and several other state wide increased taxes and fees she found that the budget was still out of hand. The Governor then cut the budget thirteen percent for the state’s four year universities. She then made very vocal political promises that she was not going to further increase the fees or taxes on the students of the universities in the state.

In the first week of March she proposed that students pay a temporary surcharge during the next two years to help make up for higher education budget cuts. Sen. Joe Zarelli, the ranking Republican on the Senate Ways and Means Committee, said that sounds like a tax or fee to him, but the governor’s office disagrees. “We don’t view it as a fee. We view it as a temporary charge in lieu of greater tuition increases,” said Pearse Edwards, the governor’s spokesman. “It’s supplemental and temporary.”

It would appear that we have revisited that famous phrase “it depends on what your definition of is is”. In the state capitol of Olympia a surcharge doesn’t seem to be the same as a tax or a fee. Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language looks at Olympia’s definition differently: TAX-a burdensome charge, obligation, duty, or demand, FEE-a charge in payment for professional services, SURCHARGE-an additional charge, tax, or cost.
The blame can only be placed where it belongs, over two centuries as a country and we still believe what politicians choose to tell us. It is our fault, we elected them. In the immortal words of Pogo, “We have met the enemy and he is us!”

Don’t get me wrong, I have a tremendous amount of respect for our elected politicians, it’s when they start talking about a “kinder and gentler” Internal Revenue Service that I end up rolling around on the floor with a towel stuffed in my mouth.

I have been among the select few who have participated in the modern interpretation of the Spanish Inquisition referred to by the IRS as an “audit”. It took place in a grey fortress in the Los Angeles area. After a humorous interlude involving a full body cavity search I was ushered into a steel grey cubicle furnished with steel grey appliances of torture that the steel grey occupant tried to pass off as a desk and chairs. He very quickly established the ground rules pertaining to our friendly visit; he pointed out that that it would be far easier if we all agreed I was guilty saving a great deal of aggravation and utilizing the remaining time working out just exactly how guilty I was. I was one of the lucky ones, I was able to leave the building with an empty briefcase and an extra pair of socks, the right one had a hole in it.

That was my first one. A few years later it was my turn again. Fortunately I had remembered the routine from the first audit and arrived for my second one fully prepared. I had the deed to my house, the title to my car, my bankbooks, credit cards, negotiable bonds and various other items of value. I simply walked back into the steel grey cubicle, piled the big stuff in the corner, signed the paperwork giving all my worldly goods to the United States Government and threw myself across the desk begging for mercy. The IRS agent recognized that I knew the rules and rewarded me by allowing me to keep my wife.

With national elections hovering in the future, many politicians are already looking towards the insecurity of having to go look for work and they are casting about frantically for a popular issue. The IRS is a natural. If they are a Republican, Democrat, Green Party, Socialist, Communist, Whig, Federalist, or Independent they all recognize the common bond of IRS dislike rampant in the hearts and minds of the voters. Mass appeal, mass support, and they have no danger of accidental alienation. Not even from the employees of the IRS.

The people lurking in the hallways of the IRS fear not for they know that nothing will really change. Two reasons: one, these same politicians have their returns audited by the IRS. And, two, to change the attitude and policies of the IRS all employees of that agency who have been ruthless and irresponsible in their duties will have to be discharged. The taxpayers of the United States cannot afford to pay unemployment benefits to the entire Internal Revenue Service agency.